Henny Klaaysen, 72, said her husband Cornelius died on March 25 and was buried at the Gisborne Cemetery.

On Father's Day her seven children and 15 grandchildren paid their respects by placing flowers at the grave site.

"It was the first time he wasn't here with us. It was Father's Day and they all felt for me, so we all went to the cemetery to put flowers there," she said.

"I went there early and put three glass jars so the kids could put flowers there."

She said on Wednesday when she visited the cemetery she discovered the jars were gone and the flowers thrown on the grave.

"I thought I would go and see how the flowers were. The pots were gone and the flowers were thrown on the grave. I was so hurt, I cried when I saw them just lying there."

Ms Klaaysen said she later received a phone call from a woman from the cemetery.

"She said you are not allowed to put anything on there. I said that there was only one little hole made for putting flowers in and I had seven children and it wasn't enough room.

"I like to go at least once a week to put flowers there - it gives me peace. She said 'they were the rules'. It's my grave, I paid the money for it. I was so emotional I just couldn't talk any more."

Ms Klaaysen did not believe it was too much to ask to be allowed to put extra flowers there. "What harm can it do? It's just some little pots the size of a drinking glass. They say you can bury him but you can't put anything else on there except in that little hole.

"I didn't want to make a big fuss, but there might be more people out there who have the same feelings. I just wish I was allowed to have one or two little pots with flowers."

Gisborne Cemetery Trust chairman Doug Mcarthur said the cemetery trust was run by volunteers who endeavour to run a venue suitable for all.

"We do on occasion find it necessary to make a request for a family to remove an article or articles from the grave mainly for the interest of the overall ambience of the place."

He said the main concern was occupational health and safety hazards.

"We do have a sign indicating not to use glass because one of the problems is if a man goes through to mow he can't get off and move them. If they are blown over it can create a danger for themselves and others."